A 1000 reasons why the Harvest God pwns
by fukubi
Summary: Welcome to the collection of one shots held and taken care of by the Harvest God fanclub located in the Ushi no Tane forums.
1. Fighting over the covers

**Warning**: Nothing above T rating.

This was the one shot that started the collection of one shots for the Harvest God fanclub. Zane would be my username over in UnT. This shot was born out of a bed hogging joke that was made one night.

**Disclaimer**: I OWN NOTHING. Harvest Moon series and all of its characters belong to Marvelous Interactive.

This one-shot was originally posted on 01/03/09.

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Fighting over the covers

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By Zane

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It was a quiet night at the Kinomiya farm. The wind blew softly against the leaves of the apple trees as the sky grew darker by the hour. Inside the house, Akari was finishing cleaning the dishes. Turning off the lights of the kitchen, she walked down the hall into a room. Walking carefully to the crib placed next to the wall, she reached down and stroked her son's cheek as she watched him sleep peacefully. She smiled to herself and straighten the blue blanket that covered his body.

Exiting the room, Akari walked back to her room and sat down on her bed. She turned on the light and continued to read the book she had began a few days ago.

"Turn off the light…" said a voice next to her.

"Nope, things just got interesting," said Akari as she flipped a page.

"…I said turn it off. I'm tired."

"I suppose staring at rocks on top of a mountain all day is way more tiring than working the fields all by yourself," said Akari, nodding in agreement.

" Akari…" the voice said again, this time with a hint of anger on its voice.

Akari let out a sigh and placed her pillow over her husband's head and continued with her reading. Two minutes hadn't passed since she had done the action that he turned around and whack her with it.

"What was that for!" she yelled, rubbing her head.

"I felt like I was being mocked," he said flatly, still not facing her. "You been reading that book for a while haven't you?"

"Forgive me, but not everyone has all the time in the world to do nothing," she said as she flipped another page.

"I just think five days is too much for a book that small…" and finally turned to face her. "You should go to sleep Akari."

"But…it finally got interesting!" protested Akari as she tried to push away her book from his grasp.

"Are you saying, a book is more fascinating than me?"

Akari groaned. Days after their marriage, the Harvest God had proven himself to be an attention whore. But then again, after centuries of being alone, wouldn't you crave attention yourself?

Akari understood this…but sometimes it was just too much for her. And this happened to be one of those times.

"Fine…Ignis," said Akari in defeat after Ignis had grabbed the book and thrown it across the room.

The Harvest God smirked to himself as he pulled his wife closer to him and closed his eyes.

Some time had passed and Akari had managed to get out of his grasp. Slowly she pulled the covers closer to her, trying very hard not to wake the God.

He seemed to have developed this game of pulling the covers and seeing who could keep them, which tended to lead towards other things. However, knowing that tomorrow she would have a full harvest and Ignis would be doing who knows what, she wasn't in the mood for playing.

And then she felt the covers being pulled. _Damn..._ Akari thought.

"Nooo…..I have to work tomorrow…" said Akari as she wrapped herself in the covers.

The god simply pulled them back off seeing as Akari wasn't putting much of a fight. Akari groaned as she pulled closer to her living heater. As much as she hated to admit it, she loved his warmth more than her covers, but because of her pride she was committed on retrieving them.

Another hour passed before Akari quietly leaned over and yanked the covers off him a little to hard. However, the Harvest God was expecting that, but not with as much forced and the two ended up falling of the bed, with him on top of her.

"See, this is what happens when you try to steal things," Ignis said casually as he avoided his wife's death glares.

"…"

"Fine…I'll sleep on my throne tonight," mumbled the God as he disappeared after bending to his wife's will.

Akari sat up and let out a sigh. As she began to stand, in the distance, the faint cries of their newborn could be heard. Reluctantly, she walked over to the origin of the sounds. She was beginning to regret sending Ignis away, as he was the one who usually took care of his needs at night.

Back on Mt. Garmon, the Harvest God glared down at the harvest sprites that had taken up residence on his throne.

The married couple groaned in unison seeing as both wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

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Feel free to comment if you need to. Thank you for reading.


	2. You're sleeping on the throne tonight

**Warning**: Nothing above T rating.

Bug is the nickname for the user Sugarbug in the Ushi no Tane forums.

**Disclaimer**: I OWN NOTHING!. Harvest Moon Series and all of its characters belong to Marvelous Interactive.

This one-shot was originally posted on 01/03/09.

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You're sleeping on the throne tonight

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A one-shot by Bug

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It was a rare and beautiful thing, for a God to love a human.

Except when they fought over the bed sheets. That could get ugly.

But that would be getting ahead of one's self.

It all started one night in bed, the night after their wedding night. No, there was no sex involved. Get your mind out of the gutter. They were still tired from last night's romp, you pervs.

With that out of the way…

The story…err…continues to begin in bed the night after their wedding night, and Akari and the Harvest God were settling in to sleep.

Akari, of course, was exhausted from a day of tree-cutting and rock-smashing. Whatever the hell she was planning to do with that was very important, indeed. That, with the stress of pretending that her husband couldn't just poof it all there for her, made her very tired. So, she felt entitled to a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed.

The Harvest God had spent a long day doing…very…godly…things? It was a stressful job for him to watch over the very exciting and action-filled island.

…Okay, fine. He mostly just played DDR all day. Wherever the hell he got that from. Never-the-less, he was entitled to a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed, because he said so.

And that is where the conflict starts.

After defying all logic—and physics—by fitting in Akari's big bed together, they were about to fall asleep. And they did. And the Harvest God rolled over, effectively hogging the blankets. Akari attempted to retrieve them, but do to her husband's rather obvious strength and presumably large weight, her efforts were futile. Or were they?

With all of Akari's tree-cutting and rock-smashing and field-plowing, she was much stronger than she looked.

And so, she took the sheets back.

And then the Harvest God took them back.

By this time, aggravated, Akari yanked them back into her possession. There was a groan by her side.

"Don't…" her husband grumbled.

"Don't hog the sheets." She grumbled back. The Harvest God sighed, rolling over, and hugging his wife in his arms, while at the same time, being a sneaky bastard and taking the blankets back. Akari didn't notice, seeing as her husband was "hot" in every definition of the word. It was a nice compromise.

Well, you'd think, but…

After a while, Akari realized that her husband was too hot, in every sense of the word. (Yes, there is such a thing.) She swiftly kicked him out of the bed, with her farmer-fu.

It was plain to see who wore the pants in the relationship. (Get it? Because Akari wears pants and the Harvest God wears a robe.)

"Ouch! Dammit, Woman! What was that for!?" He demanded.

"Ignis, dare I say that you are too hot." Akari explained.

"That's not what you said when—" Akari threw a pillow at her smirking husband's head, blushing in embarrassment.

"That's enough. You're sleeping on your throne, tonight." Akari commanded.

"Who are you to tell me where to sleep!?"

And cut to him on his throne.

"Oh, right…she's my wife," he sulked, trying to make himself comfortable on the hard rocks; a task which proved too hard for even the Harvest God.

Fin, who had followed him there for his own amusement, giggled at him. The God zapped him. It was Fin's own fault, really. He should know better by now.

The Harvest God slowly fell asleep, comforting himself with the fact that it was only for tonight.

Oh, if only he knew…

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Feel free to comment if you want to. Thank you for reading.


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